When The Time is Right

When the time is right, i promise to kill my own dream. Really !! Thats the countdown of the innerself when you yourself cant even make sure what is going on out there. Im surrounded by more uncertainties plus im the one who are with faded dreams and dying heart. I have made my decision of going back to some old place to continue the best of my remaining life. i love to spend the rest of my life with her. Hmm .. the one and only one, who still loving me although im gone mad all the times, scolding her for nothing, dont even pick up her phone while she needs someone to talk with, cant celebrate her birthday for 2 years consecutively, dint help her rub her leg that is cover with a lot of 'o-che', dint say goodnite for her everynight , dint hug her before she go to bed, dint even give her the usual good nite kiss for more than 450days.

But, im pretty sure that even im so blur and blind for my own future. But my heart is always thinking bout her. I sing along a good song when i think about her. This cant be wrong that the feeling of loving someone that is most important in your life. I love you always IRe[n]e !! :) But i dint keep my promsie to build a big house for us before your graduation ceremony. I dint have a big car to fetch you. Cant even afford to go OZ for your graduation ceremony. Dont even have a big LCD and a nice couch for your ANIME time, sorry for a lot of things that i dint even manage to get it done on time. But, the instant camera of your item on list i will at least make sure deliver on time for you :) promise is always a promise.

:/ sorry dad and mum, i cant make my dreams come true. Cant even survive in a good shape in my current living. I have disappointed you both so BADLY. i have tried my very best to get things fix. But ... thats what we called LIFE. Upper class people will always keep their fame while you are in the middle class , dont even think bout climbing up without any help from the class above. Life is cruel. I spend more than a year searching and building my foundation. But until tonight, im really heart broken and wish to start the journey all over again with a different play style. Sorry dad. Im going bak to home very soon because i need your feeding. :/

arggghhhhhh .. tonight the sky is so cloudy. and it same goes with my future. CLOUDY !! i dont know what am i thinking and why am i so emo-ing for the whole week. :) Thanks Wai for accompany me for so many days. :) i have grown up ?? REAlly ?? u pretty sure ?? Lols .. i just dont want keep stay iin the dreams that is hardly become true. so better wake up and find another better way of living before it is too late.

Okay .. once again. Im okay right now after spilt out the uneasy feeling in me. Just leave me alone sometimes i think i will find my ownself. Thanks friends for so supportive to me all the times. Plus encouraging me and hmmm .. how to describe those always lend a helping hand and let me scold one ?? Kakaka .. as long as you guys know im not mean to do that , okay and enough jo. Love ya guys ..